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Time 4 Laughs!

varied vids hilarious laughter

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#876 Bueller

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Posted 17 March 2019 - 01:14 PM

A young rider walks into a local bikers Inn. He sits at the bar and notices a Grey Beard biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chilli.

 

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young rider bravely asks the old Grey Beard, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'

 

The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young lad and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'

 

Eagerly, the young rider wearing the shiny new leather fashions, reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.

 

The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chilli back into the bowl.

 

 

The old Grey Beard quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'


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#877 KnuckleDragger

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Posted 18 March 2019 - 10:12 AM

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#878 Bueller

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Posted 19 March 2019 - 02:58 PM

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#879 KnuckleDragger

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Posted 22 March 2019 - 10:23 AM

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#880 Bueller

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Posted 24 March 2019 - 10:08 AM

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#881 Bueller

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Posted 01 April 2019 - 02:43 PM

I shoveled the drive and walk today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold ice tea!

 

The day is really beautiful, the tea and silence got me thinking about things.....

 

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what”?

 

At that point I would have had to explain what I was thinking about various topics, which would lead to other questions. I just wanted to do some thinking!

 

As the brain pondered The Big Bang, Quantum Physics and expansion of the universe I got around to an age old question: "Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?"

 

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

 

Well, after another tea, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

 

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion :

 

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

 

But you will never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

 

I rest my case!!!


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#882 Bueller

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 08:19 AM

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#883 KnuckleDragger

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Posted 13 April 2019 - 10:08 AM

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

‘About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’

Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’

‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
 


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#884 Bueller

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Posted 14 April 2019 - 06:48 AM

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