WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRATIC OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning, I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is NOW time to begin the reckoning.



Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.



This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The second list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List #2 ceases immediately and permanently.



The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.



THEN, EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER, THE MONEY SAVED WILL GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WON'T BE BANKRUPT IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into Third World hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic ? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.



On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mes amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors to the north. You are on List #2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List #2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.



I will have an extra couple of thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -- starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.

Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.



To the nations on List #1, a final thought. Thanks guys We owe you and we won't forget.





To the nations on List #2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.





God Bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

partly very bright and partly ..., sorry, dumb - cutting foreign aids is just fine as they benefit only the private central banks and maybe big cooperations but no one else, but not if it is based on a alliance in an illegal act of aggression (war in Iraq) - it is someones good right to oppose such illegal action and express its disgust for it, its called freedom of speech!

you should keep in mind by the way that countries like Germany (3rd largest ISAF contingent, almost 4000 solders that keep the german sections quite quiet) and France (1500 solder and stocking up, operating a small carrier, 2 C135 refueling jets and 6 2000 Mirage nuc-capable fighters in Kandahar ) been in Afghanistan since day one, Germany even send special forces down before their congress authorized it which is under their laws normally enough to put the entire government of then under indictment of a war crime. and france been just promising more troops in Afghanistan to ease the pressure on US troops in the hot zones.

see, there is a simple problem: even the europeans lost the tasted for nation building, at least the citizens of european nations as they have to pay the bill for this BS. and in addition to that are they not willing to sacrifice a single soul for this BS anymore as well. they been all in favor to take out Bin Laden and been all in support of the grieving US after 9/11. and my personal guess is that they still would support the pursuit of Bin Laden today - but they also see that Bush jr. shows now real interest into this at all and only breaks new wars lose that drag everyone closer to Armageddon.

So we should not forget where the US still has some friends left right now.

and the calling for terrorist acts on other nations should be left to terror organizations as Al Qaeda and not by a US president

and don't let us lose the focus: the problem was named to be Bin Laden and Al Qaeda - but Al Qaeda is mainly an idea and franchise terror brand and not a linked group you can fight physically as a group. all you can do against Al Qaeda is to dry out the breeding ground and that is only to do by cutting the support to dictators in that region as the saudi's "royal family" - in general cutting all political and financial support to such.

Problems such as Bin Laden are products of the CIA and the actions taken in Afghanistan in the 80's come now to haunt us as we missed to take care of the mess we made there in the 90's promptly resulting in the first attack on the WTC in '93.

And Jonny, if you think that all the foreign aid spend of the last century been for the good of the people that been supposed to receive it you are on the wrong track. it been always in the interest of big corporations and local dictators or corrupted governments that introduced in return the US economical system (private central banks and all the crap that is ruining the US as well) in their country to harm of its citizens - that was the true design of the "Marshal Plan" for example. so don't fall for the historical lies spreed by the Fed Jonny.

peace

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Keep the gun oiled and the thumb green!