Think before you speak.....LOL! Too funny! - GreenPassion.org - Dedicated to Medicinal Cannabis Cultivation and Education

jangel · #1 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 01:54 PM

Think before you speak... Here are six reasons why you should think before
you speak -the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a
hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went
back My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different
kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help
me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by
a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display
case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
"No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To
this day,my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow The last thing
I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and
I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch,
in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not
asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said
"No." I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't
have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more
time, "Danny did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down
his pants,bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of
Michigan
laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in
the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict
snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it
was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, "where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did
HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so
hard!

Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who
needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think
before you speak!!!!!

4evergreen · #2 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 02:09 PM

Sooo funny!
Peace

Mr Tumnus · #3 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 02:22 PM

What a tonic,I haven't laughed so much in ages.

sabasi · #4 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 05:48 PM

OMG My stomach hurts from laughing!! Thanks!

kultivator · #5 (**permalink**) 08-24-2009, 07:22 PM

chuckd420 · #6 (**permalink**) 08-25-2009, 03:27 AM

LMAO