Becoming Illegal ~ LOL!

jangel

Becoming Illegal



(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510
Phone (202) 224-3254

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status is that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA


Get your Forms NOW!! Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.


Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

__________________
Life,
j-angel


My Little Grow LST'ing w/Hardware

My Outdoor Odyssey 2008 BONSAI MUMS

Cloning a Flowering Plant My Little Grow Blueberry

ClosetDWC

I wrote the number down im calling later mabey i can get in on this lol!

__________________
Regard,
Closet-DWC

And remember just try and act NORML

jangel

ROTFLMAO! Hey, DWC, Let us know how it goes!

__________________
Life,
j-angel


My Little Grow LST'ing w/Hardware

My Outdoor Odyssey 2008 BONSAI MUMS

Cloning a Flowering Plant My Little Grow Blueberry

ClosetDWC

im going to have to change from Closetdwc to Illegally here closet dwc

__________________
Regard,
Closet-DWC

And remember just try and act NORML

Pappy

I was thinking of trying another GREAT deal the government has. Some friends of mine are farmers. They get paid by the government, not to grow certain crops, such as, beans, corn, etc. One guy got a check for more than $10,000 for not growing 250 acres of corn. So, next year, I'm not going to grow 1000 acres of corn. By simple math, I should be able to equal my wages by not growing 1000 acres of corn. If I think I need a raise, I'll just not grow MORE corn. What a deal, eh?

__________________
You can't believe anything I say, and only half of what you see me do.

ClosetDWC

shit i pledge right now to not grow 1,000,000 acres of corn right now ..... wheres my check!

__________________
Regard,
Closet-DWC

And remember just try and act NORML

jangel

I pledge Not to grow it here too!!!! I also pledge to make sure I DO go and be an illegal American! Hey I don't even have to lie! I AM from another country! And I could really make them happy by telling them about all the corn I am not going to grow!!!!!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________
Life,
j-angel


My Little Grow LST'ing w/Hardware

My Outdoor Odyssey 2008 BONSAI MUMS

Cloning a Flowering Plant My Little Grow Blueberry

ClosetDWC

man jangel you come here and youll be living the good life .

__________________
Regard,
Closet-DWC

And remember just try and act NORML

jangel

Hey, I have a pretty fine one I am rather fond of myself! And thanks DWC. Just might some day! LOL!

__________________
Life,
j-angel


My Little Grow LST'ing w/Hardware

My Outdoor Odyssey 2008 BONSAI MUMS

Cloning a Flowering Plant My Little Grow Blueberry

green_nobody

if this wouldn't be so serious it would be actually funny - or isn't it odd that you would be better of to be an alien in our own country?! sad place...

__________________
Keep the gun oiled and the thumb green!

http://www.pch.gc.ca/progs/cpsc-ccsp...Canada-eng.MP3