Yea. I've been so confused and worried about my soul. I cried last night and repented for my sins. There is one thing I am certain is that there is a God and that he loves me. I could be gone right now. I had my life all most taken from multiple time so far and I am still here standing. I haven't been right for a long time. I feel my light is really starting to shine. I came to a conclusion that I will never be happy with out the love of God. "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that preceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4.

I am still confused if Jesus is or was. I can not get my head around the idea that if I don't accept him that I will go to hell. I do believe in what Jesus taught us in the Bible. When Jesus was asked, "Of all the Commandments, which is the most important?" He replied, "...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." I really don't know if God will punish me if I am just not sure.

I pray to the Lord God to make me whole and to take my burdens from me. And slowly he is. I try to think of God all day to make me happy and its slowly starting. I'm starting to just live. It's hard though sometimes. People want to test me. And I can feel evil in me pulling at me to hate. I feel that I am so greedy and selfish to want things. I hate my self for hating my job and the responsibilities I am ordered to do. I hate when these evil thoughts come my way because it hurts. I just want to be. I find my self really now just being quiet and just listening patiently. I am starting to realize that I should be happy because I am here and that I am blessed. I think and think and just reflect on the world around me. I forgot something and am starting to find it. I hope God makes my passion and faith stronger. I hope he gives me more wisdom.

Right now I am working to improve ever part my my self. My mind, body and soul. I have lost 20 pound so far and have been seeking God.

Mrs.****** I am so sorry for things that I have done to hurt your family. I was lost. Thank you for everything that you and your family done for me. I am truely sorry for the burden I have put on your family. Thank you for loving me when I needed it. I didn't have a family growing up and I hated the world and everything around me. But, your family took me in and loved me. Thank you.

God bless you and your family,
************

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Disclaimer: I do not buy, sell, cultivate, manufacture, or use any illegal substance. Any postings I make on this forum are purely for entertainment purposes. Any pictures that I may post have been created by artificial means from images gathered from the internet and other sources. Any statements made should not be considered truthful.

Hey Lee I went to a supervisory training meeting for a company and something the speaker said stuck with me for the past 20 years.
"If you dont like the job that your doing now Dont spend another second doing it.Go find what makes you happy"
Find work you like ,near good people .My last job was good.Good people fun work,but I was always angry when I was milling wood.So I asked a bud if he ever felt that way.He took no time telling me that ,"yeah ...if the tools are dull I feel anger"So I changed some blades and sharpened the knives.My bro was right.
Hope this helps man and kudos on the weight loss.

I have no choice now. It's a families business. My parents need me. My mom has been sick for a while. And my father can not run the business by him self. They refuse to listen to my advise on things. My life is in jeopardy every time I go to work. The cash register is old and you have to know prices of everything. There's a lot of customers that make me mad. And it's in the city.

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Disclaimer: I do not buy, sell, cultivate, manufacture, or use any illegal substance. Any postings I make on this forum are purely for entertainment purposes. Any pictures that I may post have been created by artificial means from images gathered from the internet and other sources. Any statements made should not be considered truthful.