Drug test

kenneth_342

Hey every body. Just found out i need to take a piss test Next friday. Maybe the friday after. Just wondering if there is any way to pass it? ANY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

bonghitter

Whizzinator

Mogie

Excellent link:

Grow Marijuana FAQ, Cannabis cultivation - marijuana growing tips & photos

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kenneth_342

SO its looking like the synthetic way is the way to go then.

MyBuddy

Is there going to be someone present to admisnister the test. i.e. in the room while u pee? If not i suggest getting a catheter and bag from a medical supply store, have a non user friend of yours fill it, tape the bag under your armpit to keep it a body temp and sqeeze away into that little pee cup.
myBUDdy

Mogie

You don't really need to get the actual whizzinator prosthetic or urinator or gonumber1 "spare bladder" devices, because you can easily make your own using a simple 2 oz bottle like this one pictured below, or even just a regular condom.




If you use a condom, be sure it's non-lubricated and rinse it out. When filled, you can either just twist & bend the open end back on itself and secure it with a small rubber band, or even attach a little 1/4" tube to the end if you prefer, and then bend that back with a small rubber band to release it. I'd suggest putting it with a heat pack into a small sock or wrap it up with a piece of light cloth and carry it in your briefs.

Be sure to practice using it in advance with just plain water to make sure you have the temperature range everything just right, and you can carry and use it stealthily, without dropping anything or making any strange squirting noises like when you stop squeezing the bottle and it sucks the air back inside.

Each time I've gone for these tests for pre-employment reasons, the testing office was right next door to the restroom, so they opened up a specimen window to listen through. They also instructed me to empty my pockets and such, but they didn't frisk me. They also colored the water in the toilet blue, and said not to flush it, and not to use the sink or wash my hands either. Sometimes, they even use the 2-cup method, so the cup they give you doesn't have a temp strip on it, but the next one they have you pour it into does have one on it.

I don't really recommend using "someone else's pee" to substitute with, instead of the synthetic concentrates because of the potential problems such as needing someone who is clean and willing that you can ask & needing to be very careful about proper storage and re-heating of real urine to avoid spoilage. But taking those factors into account, it works quite well for many people. Gender is not a factor, as they are not permitted to test it for that, nor anything else outside the range of drugs they're normally looking for, but certain medications taken by the actual "clean pee" donors have been known to trigger a false positive.

Real urine is only good for about 4 hours or so at room or body temp before it starts to spoil and smell quite foul. But you can store it for up to 1 year if it is frozen or 30 days maximum if it is refrigerated. When you warm it up to the proper temp of 94-100f... be sure NOT to use a microwave, as that can easily get it way too hot... and preferably let it thaw out in the refrigerator overnight first. The best way to warm up a frozen/refrigerated sample is with hot water. Place the sample in its zip-lock bag, condom or glue bottle in a bowl and cover it with hot water. Depending on how hot your water is, you can get a sample from frozen to over 100 degrees in about 5 minutes. Of course that's too hot, but it's easier to cool it off while driving to the test than it is to make it warmer.

But if you're feeling lucky and want to take your chances on dilution instead... remember that THC metabolites can be detected for up to 4 to 6 weeks after marijuana use. If you have more than a couple weeks notice, increasing your metabolism is probably the most effective way to decrease the time period that drugs can be detected in your system. The best ways to do that are to get lots of exercise, and eat lots of high-calorie foods... in that order. While exercising will clean THC metabolites from the system at a faster rate, lowering the detection period, it is important to stop burning those fat cells near test time, because the exercise actually increases the amount of THC metabolites in the urine, so you must quit exercising about a week before the test... then be lazy, and eat big and pack on some fresh, clean fat cells on top of the remaining older ones.

You should begin raising your creatinine levels, starting 2 or 3 days before the test. Creatine, which metabolizes into creatinine in 24 to 48 hours, can be raised with red meat and/or Creatine supplement, available online or at nutritional food stores such as GNC. However, any creatine taken within 24 hours of the test is useless as it will not have sufficient time to metabolize properly.

About 2 to 3 hours before the test, start drinking an 8 ounce glass of water quickly every 15 minutes, so that's about 1 quart or liter each hour. Instead of water you can substitute Gatorade, cranberry, grape or any fruit juice, coffee, iced tea, herbal tea, or soft drinks as they are all good diuretics. Diuretics make people urinate frequently. Diuretics without caffeine or alcohol are recommended because caffeine and alcohol have negative side effects. The best choice is Gatorade because of its electrolytes and high sodium content. After about an hour or so, you should be voiding clear urine about every 15 to 20 minutes. Be sure you have voided dilute urine at least 4 or 5 times before your test. Continue drinking 8 more ounces of water or Gatorade every 15 minutes to replace what you've urinated for a total of about 2-3 quarts in 2-3 hours. If you drink too much water, such as a gallon or more, your sample will be more likely to be rejected as being too diluted. Also drinking excessive amounts of water in the days, or even the night before the test doesn't really help.

At about 3 hours before the test, unless you are aspirin-sensitive, take 4 regular aspirin (not Advil or Tylenol) and also take 4 Rolaids or Tums antacid tablets. Then take 4 more aspirin and 4 more Rolaids again at about 2 hours before the test. Instead of causing a false positive, like ibuprofen/advil is known to do, aspirin actually acts a smoke screen interfering with the EMIT assay, and reduces positive readings for 2 to 12 hours.

At about 1 hour before the test, take a vitamin B2 or B-Complex, with 50 or 100mg of B2. However, if the vitamin is time released, you can either take it earlier with the first 2 glasses of water at about 3 hours before the test, or else you'll need to crush it before taking. Within 30 to 45 minutes of taking your B vitamin, your urine should turn from clear to yellow for the next few voids.

Also be sure to give them your sample from mid-stream, not the beginning or the end of the stream. Start by urinating in the toilet, then quickly stop and go in the cup. Just give the minimum required, 2oz/60cc then stop and switch back to the toilet to finish.

It's very important to do a practice run. You can buy dipstick thc tests at a drug store or pharmacy or order them online to pre-test yourself. They're not as sensitive as a lab test, but they do work quite well so at least you'll know when you've got your method down properly. Everyone is different in regards to metabolism rates, age, weight, body fat % and THC consumption rates. The amounts of liquid and vitamins the time schedule to take them are only general guidelines may be adjusted according to your practice tests to insure the proper dilution rate and color.

Good luck, but remember there is no absolutely 100% effective dilution method, and that includes this method as well as any other "detox", "xxx carbo" or "quick flush" drinks or pills. Above all, please don't fall for their scams... they don't work, and they don't even pay up on their 200% guarantees. They usually require you to submit the lab test proof that you failed within 30 days... but the fact is that you did not pay for the test and have no rights to copies of that information. Since you authorized it for your employer who paid for it, it's theirs, and they don't have to give it to you either. And even if they do give you a copy, those companies have been known to simply ignore refund requests, send you a different magic potion to try next time, or even say that since marijuana is illegal, it's not covered. If you fail a test, don't try to make excuses for why you tested positive, but the best plan is to just deny any drug use, and tell them you've heard that those tests have a lot of false positives, and ask for a retest... and then substitute on the retest using a synthetic concentrated sample.

There are also many popular home remedies such as fruit pectin (Certo/Sure Gel), goldenseal, niacin and cranberry juice which have been shown to work on many occasions, especially when taken with a couple quarts of water (for dilution) and some vitamin B (for coloring), but they do NOT always work for everyone. Plenty of marijuana smokers have also failed their tests using those remedies, which shows that other factors were involved, such as the amount of water consumed, how much THC was consumed and how long ago, or different metabolism rates. Independent lab tests have concluded that niacin doesn\'t work at all. In other words, something else probably caused a negative, not the niacin. Also some labs test directly for goldenseal.

Likewise, using adulterants, or direct additives to the urine sample itself, such as bleach, ammonia, and Drano or even those expensive 200% money-back guaranteed "detox" additives is risky, not only because they don't always work, but they are also easy to detect since they usually foul up the PH. While they might pass an EMIT dipstick test, they are often either tested for directly, or can be easily detected on a GC/MS test, in which case you'll have to answer for the obvious tampering.

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kenneth_342

Thanks a lot for all the info. I lucked out. Just got off the phone with my new boss and explained my situation to him. He was very understanding and is allowing me to forgo the test. I do have to take one but he said he can put it off for at least a couple of months. So one more day of fun before it must stop. Rolling one up now and got the rum poured. This should be one great day.

midgradeindasouth

Yupness.

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kenneth_342

The children just left for grammies and grampies house. The boys are coming over and my wife is off of work in 2 hours. Let the party begin.