I have no idea. I really dont. When someone you truly Love dissapears from your life that is the cut that hurts the most but just thinking what I could have done better kills me. Who the Hell have I become????? A shell that just can't be cracked. I am just an ordinary Man with some extraordinary problems. I am just "Med" Guess what? I like me. I have my moments where I am still a good person I just have to find that Peace in my life again. It just really sucks right now and I am sorry to bring this depressed post to GP but you are my friends and I am alone now here so I kinda need you.
Love To You All And Thank You For Being Real True Friends,
Med

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med. think poss bro.it will all work out for you my frend

med, mate...
i ask myself the very same thing every single day. and the only answer i can come up with is forward. the good thing mate is that you said one of the most important things an individual could ever say.. 'i like me'.

i tend to think sht happens, we have to live with it and make the most of it. even if it stinks.

a few months ago i went through something sort of similar. i had my heart ripped out from my chest and litterally thrown on the compost heap by someone i love, i also figured out eventually that i helped rip it out... i also went through the self beating up, the self torture of what was i doing wrong, where did i mess up, what was wrong with me/her... all that BS questioning we do when life throws us a spinner.

but i realised something... (its funny how we humans have a tendancy to only learn the important lessons in life the hard way) ... the problem wasnt me, or her but that when faced with the prospect of losing loved ones we (for some irational reason!!!) we have a stupid tendancy to turn our backs or push them further. maybe in the hope that they will come closer? or snap out of whatever psychologiacl problem they are in .. or whatever. its crazy but its true. we do the opposite of what we wmant to do and then torture ourselves for it and blame someone else

and that ends up torturing both sides. its like what we really want to do is hug, kiss, bond, cry ... but we do the exact opposite. maybe out of pride.. i dont know why, ive tried to figure it out. i cant. we rational animals are as irational as it gets when it comes to emotions med.

bloody crazy human beings. but truth is, the best thing is to go and do what the heart really wants to do. to go hug, kiss, talk, cry, talk some more and find a middle term where respect can exist and pride can go stuff itself somewhere else.

ah.. i so wanted to say that... express yourself med. say what you feel to who you feel like saying it to.

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and another thing med, you post whatever you feel you need to. compassion i hope doesnt begin and end in cannabis. one of the most beautiful persons i dont know that helped me through my hard times is in here as well, i sometimes think i had no right to drag her into my personal problems but today Im thankful fur having had that shoulder to cry on and that ear to talk into. and i have so much to thank her for i cant begin to describe it. and like she says, we pass it forward...

peace med. rest well. think it over and calm down.
ileso

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Ileso is right.... I can say the same. You know what you need med? A good song....

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I believe the man told us not to eat the f*@#in apples, never did I read "Dont smoke the forbidden herbs" LOL.....

Thank you friends so much for the kind words and all of the support you give me. I could never see myself as being alone when I have such awesome friends such as yourselves.
I dearly love and thank you all!
Med

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Awesome Gypsy! Thank you very much my friend. And yes it does help.
Peace and Blessings,
Med

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Thank you ileso. I really did need to hear that.
Med

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I hope all is well with you, and as you can see your truly not alone.

My mum always tells me when im down and out " Let Go and Let God "

hope your better soon..........

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we have the right to life, so let us live

only people that matter now med is you and her. everyone else (including us here) have no say in the matter and should be relegated to their secondary insignificance.

what im saying med, is that we others outside your close bond with your lovely lady can give opinions. but those opinions are relevant only to how WE feel and to how WE see the world. they are relevant to us alone. you two, have your own opinions, your own lives and your own individual beliefs and ways of seeing the world.

we as individuals should live our lives as WE see fit. not how others think we should.

ive said enough.

Hi Med, as you know I don't now what is going on in your life today but, I too have been through Hell and somehow found my way back. If you ever need to talk, drop me a line.
I'm still in a bad way and, don't see much improvement going forward but, I'm trying to make the best of my situation. You can too!

Take care my friend,
Richard

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One day at a time, Med. Ileso speaks for me too.

We're here for you,

Tex

I'll be just fine no matter what just remember that. I aint dead yet. Never count me out! Thanks again guy's but i'm getting on with it.

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lets see them pic med. i think that will make you smile my frend

Time to crank up the Camaro?

Peace,

Tex