Ya know I have been doing alot of thinking lately and not just for my own well being and health but for everyone else who suffers any type of pain or discomfort and wants a safer way to manage it without relying on some Pill. My experience with Terminal Lymphoma unfortunately happened in 2005 in October about ten days from my Birthday. Huh, Go figure that?? How the heck did I manage to pull that card at 38?? What a pisser! Ah I stink at gamblin anyway so its pretty much par for the course. Now I suffered from severe Migraine Headaches and major depression since oh geez it had to be around 11 or 12 years old. Well my Sis had smoked my first joint with me at age 9 so I knew even that young that it did so much to help me feel better and have a better outlook on where my life was going. That year was 1976 and it was great. Well here I am at age 41 and inflicted with a terminal disease. Iv'e been through everything they can put me through and people this next Chemo is my last! I'm gonna die from all this Radiation and Chemo iv'e had so if this next round #3 doesn't do it than i'm done. I will live my life to the very fullest, Help any living soul or creature I can, do the things I truly enjoy and maybe do some things iv'e always wanted to try. Either way i'm livin my life with a smile.
My wife and I have a nearly 400 acre home and I would like to grow the heck out of it and help area patients(whom we know) who cant afford safe healing medicine or acquire it in an unsafe manner. Dangerous but why sit on my tail and die without doing something not only good for so many others but for myself. It would take years by myself and i'm in no shape to do it all by myself but it's here. My wife is so busy running her business that she barely has time for taking care of her Orchids and Roses let alone an operation like this.
Oh well more ideas of mine I guess. I dont put a price tag on Cannabis at all but I do look for a couple bucks every now and then for supplies and whatnot but no way i'm not in it to make money or become filthy rich. I was a Toolmaker/Mech. Engineer for nearly twenty years so I have got more money than time to spend it in.
Sure the time and heart you put into it is worth something but it just doesn't seem right to be "using" Cannabis like that to me when you are helping those in need. How can you put a price on that kind of Karma??? These wonderful Plants are very much like a loving human. You dont have to consume them to love them. We dont have Children but ya know I feel my babies to be my kids and I get to raise them and watch them grow and evolve. heck i'm gonna be a grandad here soon!
See there's another wish of mine that came true.
Bottom line is guy's, I love you one and all I dont care about hangups or personal politics or whatnot. I sent all that packin along time ago.LOL
Any ideas or comments are welcome at anytime
Love ya one and all!
Peace,
Med

You are a beautiful person, M. ...and this is good. You are good.

Peace my friend.

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Life,
j-angel

aka GP purrie kittie attack cat!


My Little Grow LST'ing w/Hardware

My Outdoor Odyssey 2008 BONSAI MUMS

My Little Grow Indoor To Outdoor 2009

Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing to be able to do,,,I agree with you on how you say with love what our plant means to you, It is a wonderful feeling when growing, this is a plant that is loved world wide but is being fought by some to be excepted. If I never was to smoke again I would still want to grow. I really get so excited at each new growth,

My thoughts and prayers will be with you, God Bless your kindness and your loving ways

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i hope it all works out for you MC. and if ya need any help just let me know.

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they call me ishmael, and mobys music sucks. smile if you get it.

Your story is very moving. The only thing I can tell folks is we are all dying. You start dying the moment you are born and it's one of the few guarantees in life. You are guaranteed to not get out of here alive.

In a way it's sad that we can't live our entire lives as if we had little time left. But, having been in that position, I can tell you that I never felt more alive than when I was sure I wasn't going to live the year out.

Ironic, huh?

But, I'm sure you will agree, MC. The colors are much brighter, the small things mean EVERYTHING and you can find pleasure in the most simple, mundane things. It's almost like getting out of jail or back from a war or something. You also realize that the only thing you've ever really had in life was time. It's the only commodity we truly own. Everything else is illusion, really. I think you need to be staring down the barrel for a minute to realize that, though.

It seems like dying is the only thing really teaches us how to live... just more irony for ya.

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-Michael

Thank you all so much for your warm comments and personal additions. I really dont think all of you realize how I really feel about you. You have helped me to find that inner peace and serenity I had lost. There is a smile in everything I do and everyday I live. Sure some days are bad but even I can find something to smile about in a seeminly bad situation.
Thank You All Once Again With All Of My Heart And Soul,
A True Closetcase

By the way guys just so you know i'll be offline from the 8th till the 13th and in Chicago for Chemo.
Keep yer fingers and toes crossed for me guy's cause this is IT! No more of this 2 months of agony after this.
Peace and Love,
Med