Wow fred what a good question..goes straight to my heart
I have two girls 19 and 15...and a similar dynamic....I help with problems, but their moms get the easy chat more often....I can't top the great advice of Pappy Vid and others, but I will tell you a few things that help the situation for me...
It may sound morbid, but I try to remind myself that my time left with my daughters is limited...and unless I live to be 100+ more than half that time is gone already...it give me the tolerance to listen (sometimes quite enjoyably) to tales of the mall (god I hate malls) and clothes and boys
Also though my daughters count on me when they are ready to hear the "hard facts" and find a solution...I try to make sure I find opportunities to slip out of that role...I think Jangels suggestion of doing something nice together can help build that time and space for that.
mostly whatever relationship I have with my daughters I am just happy I have one that on the whole is benificail to them....so many kids don't have that
last thought - ask questions - did you enjoy that? who else was there? do you think you will go out with them again? and try not to give any advice until they ask for it...and even then go easy....kind of ironic considering how often I give advice...the hypocracy is not lost on me.
one more last thought....I think after young girls get over trying to differentiate from mom and start to realize that dad doesn't live on a pedastil...mothers and daughters do grow closer and dad do have to learn how to foster a new kind of relationship...like vid said it is so worth it...and the fact that you are thinking about it bodes well for them and you |