 A Letter to My son ~ By J-Angel
A Letter to my Son ~ Nov./04
I know right now that if I tried to say all this in person you would get impatiant and think it is a lecture. It is not a lecture I wish to share with you but just a few thoughts to possibly help you in this hard time you are having, not quite a man, and not still a child. It is a hard time in Life, I know. I once went through it too. This is the time you form your judgement and make choices that could effect you all the rest of your life. And the easy ones, to follow the crowd and do what is fun and easy is the way you have chosen to go. I cannot make your choices for you, and I would not want to, as this could cripple you in life, leaving you ineffective and unable to survive in adulthood. Stuck in child hood forever as you never had to take control of yourself. It was always done for you. So good or bad, like me, you have to choose your path. I can only hope to guide you and hopefully give you the right tools through our life together to make wise decisions.
I want to watch you grow into a fine young man that does yourself and your family proud. You have it in your grasp, but some where it has gotten buried in immediate pleasure and lack of compassion. And I am not accusing you. I am being honest. I know how hard it has been for you. This has been a rough year. It has been a big change, but a change for the better I can only hope. I think we are happier and not as much in conflict as we where before. It has not been easy on me holding this all together, for all four of us. I have only tried to do the best I can. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I am in charge now, where before I did not have to worry about it all. But we have made it this far, with food on our plates, clothes on our backs, and shelter over our heads. We are a family. I love you all. That is what drives me.
You have to try to be part of this. In a constructive way. I want to teach you how to show your love, not just in saying I love you but in the little things you do. Taking out the garbage is a way to say I bless you with my love. Doing a little thing like wiping something down is a way of doing it. Giving your grandmother a hug and telling her you are sorry for all the worry you have caused her. That would go far. Without her we would be I do not know where. The only thing that matters to her is us. Do not disrespect her by not taking care of her. Her time is growing shorter and you will regret it all your life if you do not show her this now. Beleive me I know. Do not do things now that will haunt you with your conscience for the rest of your life. And know that in this life there is a law of Karma. What ever you do to others will be returned to you threefold.
I have many things in my life I have done. When you are a man I will share this with you. Suffice it to say, whatever you do I will eventully figure it out, becaus I have been there. And I have chosen to be a better person for it. I have made the decision to be honest and true to my character, without disrespecting others or myself. I have explored philosophy and religions, looked into what comes beyond this day to day life. It is a life long journey you are just starting. I will help you if you wish. I beleive we are born to parents to help our souls advance, or to help theirs. There is a grand plan out there, my son, but we only see little pieces at a time.
This is why I am writing this to you. I wish you to always stop and think before acting. It only takes a second, and could make a big difference in what you do. You know how a hurtful word can harm someone, lord knows it has been done to you. Treat others with love and respect. This will never lead you wrong. Some one smaller than you is more easily hurt. You might not know it but a push or a shove could harm or hurt because you are a big guy. Just like a careless word, or thoughtless act.
You have a deep soul, I saw it in your eyes the day you where born. An old soul. Get in touch with that, and listen to your Guardian angel. They will never lead you wrong. Try to tap into that wisdom that is hardwired into you. You have lost touch with that. Slow down and do not go so quickly, life will follow your timetable. And as a wise man once told me, just know that "never and I mean NEVER let anyone take away your personal values, character and integrity. Remember, Nothing remains the same. All things change. Where you are now will change! I guarantee it. Why? Because nothing remains the same! If you can truely accept this idea then you can look to change as a comfort."
Just remember you are part of my heart and my soul. I always will love you, no matter what happens. I will always be the mum that rocked you when you where a baby and comforted you when you where sick. Kept you clean and warm and loved. I have to let you go now to become a man, and not doing things for you is part of this, whether you realize this or not. And shows as much love as when you where a baby. When you are a parent maybe you will understand. Just be the best you can be. That is all I ask. Do not give up or say you do not care. This is not a rehearsel. This is life.
I will always be here to talk to if you wish. Even just write to me. I know it is hard to talk sometimes.
And remember you are Loved.
Your Mum.
Last edited by jangel; 05-23-2008 at 11:04 AM.
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